- Must not be attached - Married/Girlfriend/Separated/Lurking Ex GF's
- Must not be verbally/physically/emotionally abusive
- No booty calls/casual relationships/Friends with Benefits
- No commitment dodging - must be clear he wants a relationship. No flip-flapping, leaving me unsure, wondering if we have a relationship or not. Making me feel I'm losing my mind in the relationship.
- Must not blow hot and cold
- Must not have addictions - drugs/alcohol/gambling/sex
- Must not rely on me financially
- Must not treat me as an option - I need to be a priority in his life
- Must not be emotionally detached - lacking in empathy. Needs to have the ability to consider my feelings and the impact of his actions and words on me
- Must not expect me to exclude those nearest and dearest to me and be jealous of the time and love I have for them (and I'm not talking about other lovers)
- Must not be dishonest/lie/cheat/steal
- Must not be all talk and no action - MESSING with my head/future faker/future avoider to get what he needs from me in the present. The actions and the words must be in sync
- Must not be a lazy communicator - the bulk of our communication can not be via text/email/IM
- Must not enter and disappear from my life with little or no explanation and expect to press the "reset" button and pick up where we left off. I call that convenient relationship amnesia
- Must not expect me to accept random ridiculous situations that cause me to devalue myself, treat me with disrespect, erode my self-esteem and break my trust. The relationship cannot be based on this dynamic
- Must not expect everything in the relationship to be on their terms - I AM AN EQUAL CO-PILOT in this relationship
- Must not be jealous, controlling or manipulative
- Must not be narcissistic, egotistical, chauvinistic
- Must not expect me to do all the pursuing, organising, loving, giving, while he takes what is on offer and doesn't contribute equally
- Must not be selfish sexually
- Must not keep me a secret from family and friends
- Must not be evasive about inviting me to his home after a period of time. It isn't acceptable to only be visiting my house, or hotels, etc
So folks, have you thought about your boundaries?
If you have them, what are they?
And by sticking firmly to your boundaries have you found that you have been more successful in relationships?